Can’t decide how to celebrate the Project Runway aficionado’s birthday? Here are a few easy ways to pay homage to the God of Sophistication and Style.
10. Don’t be afraid to turn people down. Try a polite but firm: I would refuse.
9. Feel worried. Feel woeful. Share your feelings.
8. Be honest. If your friend’s dress looks like a coffee filter or a maxi pad, tell them, "your dress looks like a coffee filter or a maxi pad.”
7. If you are over 40, do NOT wear horizontal stripes. And while you’re at it, donate those pleated pants and double-breasted blazers to Goodwill. If you can’t do it yourself, do it for Tim.
6. Don’t let anyone question your authority. Repeat after Tim: “Do I even have one iota of doubt? No. Not one iota.”
5. It is always a good time to have a caucus. Try walking into a bar, folding your hands together, and announcing “everyone, gather around.” If you don’t have an actual announcement, give hugs.
4. At least six times today, wander into an office room and tell your employees to carry on.
3. Be prophetic, with a tinge of doom. Tell a few strangers in an elevator, “Live like there is no tomorrow. Because for one of you, there won’t be.”
2. Always look very concerned. If someone asks you what’s wrong, step back, purse your lips, and say, “I’m concerned.”
1. Whatever you do today, make it work. Even if it’s not working, or it ran out of batteries. Today you have no excuse.